Tag Archives: #penguin

These Animals Sum Up Valentine’s Day

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Third wheeling – we’ve all been there – and on Valentine’s Day, we’re bound to feel extra awkward. This penguin says it like it is.

I mean – is it really necessary to CONSTANTLY flaunt your affection in confined spaces?

 

smug couples

That smug couple who have such a perfect day, they have to romantically post all the deetz on Facebook. Nothing says love like a Facebook tag. @Getaroom.

 

Ijustdonthavetimetodaterightnow

No one believes you when you say you haven’t got time to date.

 

all dressed upWhen you make an effort and go out because you don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day.

 

And your Tinder date shows up…

When your Tinder date shows up

 

And you look at them like

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Your friends and family tell you there are plenty more fish in the sea

when someone tells you plenty more fish

 

And they know someone great they can set you up with

 

When your Tinder date shows up

 

You decide to get back on it and go out and look fierce – at least everyone in the club will be single too – unless they’re on a really shit date. #smise #opportunities IMG_20171022_131628_317

When that sleazy guy sneaks up behind you like this

When that dirty guy sneaks up behind you in the club and you're SO CLEARLY NOT ON IT

 

And you’re so clearly NOT ON IT.

 

You move away and look for somewhere non-creepy to stand but you realise that everyone in the club is like

everyone's on it

 

And the hairs on your neck are like

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So you get on the last tube home and gaze at all the PDA couples

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And reflect…

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And when you get home you decide to treat yourself

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After five bags of kettle chips, pic ‘n’ mix and a large Dairy Milk or three, you feel disgustingly satisfied.IMG_20171024_123135_402

 

 

You are reminded to always leave time to look after yourself. We all need a bit of self-love. You find your inner cow.

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You think of all your friends who are whipped

when your mates are whipped

 

 

And you lie back in bed and fart and get away with it. And you enjoy the comfort of knowing you can do this all night long and no one will complain.

when you fart and get away with it cos youre alone... the comfort of being able to do that all night long knowing no one will complain

 

 

 

*And if you’re in a relationship, you spend the day anticipating romantic gestures that never come.*

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**Or you just have a really good day either way.**

 

This blog is based on extensive research into common Valentine’s Day experiences in modern history.

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